I Can Hear

The platform I was given from childhood was a bit wobbly.  By platform,  I mean the skills,  understandings,  and grounded-ness needed to navigate the world successfully.    I have been working for a while now to strengthen that platform,  a basis on which my happy and productive life can continue to emerge and develop.   I have done many things,  over time,  to add rebar where there wasn't much (or any) before.    One place I have recently strengthened is my ability to hear the world around me.

About a year ago I went to get a hearing test.   My family had been telling me that I was saying "what?" an awful lot so I started tuning into the possibility that my hearing was a bit off.     I started to notice that I did say "what?"  more than average and questions I've asked myself like "Why do others learn song lyrics faster than I do?"  might have an answer in my ability to hear at a normal level.

I went to an audiologist friend of mine and she informed me that I had "mild hearing-loss in the mid-range and moderate hearing-loss for high tones."   She told me it was not crucial to get hearing aids but that my life would likely be enhanced if I did.

So a few weeks ago I did.

 Trying out two different kinds of hearing aids,   I can now hear things that were not audible to me before.   Or at least not for a long,  long time.   I had a lot of ear infections when I was a kid,  especially between the ages of 4 and 7.   I probably listened to some loud music when I was in high school….  I am guessing I may have had hearing loss since high school age and have not since been screened for it.   That's pretty amazing to me.   I have had loads of physicals since that time and I don't ever remember a hearing test.

In one way,   I can see that as "water over the dam".   In another way,  I have to ask myself how mild/moderate hearing loss has affected my life over the years.   It's not really a question of IF it has affected my life;  it's HOW.

One way that seems pretty clear:   without the hearing aids,  when I am in a group,  and sometimes one-on-one conversations,     I tend to miss things that people say.   When I do miss something,  I am often shy to ask them to repeat more than a few times,  and so I begin to withdraw subtly from the conversation.   I am not able to track the conversation because I simply am not able to hear everything the person is saying.   

There is part of me which is fairly sociable,  and another part which withdraws.   How much of my withdrawing has been due to my ability to hear?  

I have been thinking about the phenomenon that people who have hearing loss sometimes are perceived by others as being "slow" or a little "dim-witted".   How often has that happened to me just because I was not able to hear all that someone was saying.

My family is already telling me they see a difference in me.

This is a good reminder that my progress in life is not always related to my "overcoming my psychological issues".   Sometimes life can be very much enhanced in other ways.

Hearing aids are not perfect.   They can be a bit a of a pain.   But I can hear a lot more of what's going on around me.   And that makes me feel more confident about my social interactions.

Sounds good to me!

Your comments are welcome.

Warmly,  Ben