Last week I spoke about the Enneagram, a helpful tool for me in my search for self-knowledge. In this post I will build on that introduction. It should be said that I am in no way an expert on the Enneagram. Everything stated here is related to my own personal process; it is what I have so far gleaned from the material.
The value I have found in the Enneagram has a number of aspects. First, it is a window into personality which acknowledges humans as a spiritual beings; that we are born into the world for a temporary journey in material form, and then return to non-material form after death. Second, it has shown me types of personality structures which really dig into both the dark and light aspects without flinching with either side.
This tool has helped me to cop to my weaknesses and shortcomings and work steadily to overcome them. At the same time it has shown me aspects of my self which are highly functional and useful in the human community. The Enneagram confirmed to me that my personality is not my essential self; rather it is the lens through which we experience the world during this lifetime. Furthermore, our personality is not static. By honestly assessing and working to transform the darker sides of our self we are then supported in reaching towards the radiant aspects of our personality. As we do that we bless ourselves and those around us.
We have to dig deeply and unflinchingly into our sense of self, but we can get "behind" our personality to some degree and realize that there is a spiritual being, which is us, that can direct the lower forms of self, such as the personality, to the highest possible good.
I do not see the Enneagram in any way representing my spiritual path, but I do find it to be a useful tool. And as with all tools that deal with personality types, I believe it's helpful to take it in with a certain grain of salt.
Perhaps those of you who have read my posts and who are familiar with the Enneagram have already guessed my type: Nine. The Nine type is described as the child who "went to sleep to it's self" and that it did not develop a personal agenda. Type Nine is receptive, reassuring, agreeable, and complacent. He focusses on other people's agendas rather than his own and he avoids conflict to the highest degree possible.
In the book, The Enneagram, Helen Palmer says of the Nine:
"Nines are the children who felt overlooked when they were young. They remember that their point of view was seldom heard and that other people's needs were more important than their own. Eventually Nines fell asleep, in the sense that their attention turned from real wishes and they became preoccupied with small comforts and substitutes for love. Realizing that their own priorities were likely to be discounted, they learned to numb themselves, to divert energy from their priorities, and to forget themselves."
The basic proposition of the Nine is that belonging and comfort are gained by attending to and merging with others and by dispersing energy into substitute objects. The Nine can lose himself easily in inessential details. He represses his anger and may be completely unaware of it; he seems sunny and friendly but can express anger through passive aggression. The Nine wants life to be comfortable and familiar and enjoys repetitive tasks. He deeply wishes to belong and can easily merge with others, and their agendas. A vice of the Nine is indolence or laziness. In the higher mind, the Nine has the ability to cultivate selfless love.
Some of the Nine's strengths are of being balanced, accepting and peace-loving. Some of their challenges are of being stubborn, indecisive, conflict avoidant.
Here are some quotes about the Nine by people who identify as Nines:
They say that Nines
--see all sides to every issue as peacemakers and harmonizers;
--avoid conflict and want the comfortable solution;
--have difficulty saying "no";
--are ambivalent about their own needs and wants;
--"go along to get along";
So how is this information useful to me? First of all, it has helped me to "call myself on my stuff". My awareness about my strengths and weaknesses was fairly low coming out of my childhood. My self-awareness was weak and it was very difficult for me to take a stand in being one or another way. It was much easier for me to float along in one situation and then move on to the next experience, always willing to change myself to meet the needs of what I found.
A key for me in taking a stand for something was my connecting to a spiritual path. Once I began the journey of gradually shifting my thinking towards a spiritual perspective, it became easier for me to focus on what was essential for me. I was able to identify my values to a much greater degree and act out of them more and more.
And yet, I can still see the attributes of the Nine which visit me every day and ask to be transformed. I can see how I depend on my wife at times for opinions because it is so hard for me to come to my own. I can see how easy it is at work to merge with the opinions of others, to see it from their side.
One way I have transformed myself to some degree is by finding good models to work with in my workplace. Where I work now is based on a model which I find to be very forward thinking. I am always able to refer to the model when I am faced with decisions. "What seems right according to the model?" I ask myself. This was true in my previous job as well. And because I was in harmonious accord with the model I was freed up to offer my gifts as a Nine.
This isn't to say that I blindly or stupidly follow the model am working with. I do bring my thinking to bear and am always willing to consider other perspectives.
The Nine type is called the Mediator because he can see a given issue from many points of view. He can identify with the people who carry different opinions and actually feel what it's like for that person to carry that opinion. This ability can be very helpful in a group setting. A person who is a Nine can bring together groups who may have seen each other as opposed. The Nine can sometimes see the higher place where the "opposed" groups meet and are in harmony, when others cannot. The Nine also has a primary goal of creating harmony, which, if done consciously, can have a beneficial affect on any group.
What the Enneagram material has done for me is to identify some of these strengths and weaknesses. I then have been able, to some degree, be more aware of my weaknesses and to see my strengths as valuable in the social community. What makes this tool useful for me is that it shows me the dark side of my personality so I can work on it, while it shows me the light side, which I can build on.
Over time, as I continue to struggle to transform my lower nature and to encourage the development of some of the gifts given to me, my life becomes richer and I take another small step on the path towards knowing myself.
Your comments are welcome.
Warmly, Ben
Sources: "The Enneagram" by Helen Palmer
enneagram.com (website maintained around Helen Palmer's work)
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