I went and saw the movie "The King's Speech" last night and was struck at how the story relates to my own process. If you haven't seen it, it's about King George V's second oldest son, Albert, who steps forward to become king after his brother abdicates in the late 30s. Albert has a speech impediment; he "stammers". He goes to an Australian speech therapist, Lionel Logue, who resides in London.
Disclaimer: I am basing my observations on the movie depiction of these historical figures. I cannot say if the depictions in the movie are historically accurate.
During the course of the speech therapy, Logue discovers that Albert has endured trauma as a child, and realizes that the trauma is very likely to be behind Albert's stammer. Logue subtly and artfully guides the prince, who becomes King George VI, in addressing the speech issues on a technical level, and in helping Albert acknowledge and work through his unresolved trauma.
The trauma Albert was said to have endured went back to when he was 3 and 4 years old. In the movie, Albert tells Logue that he was abused by a nanny as a child. The nanny favored his older brother, David (King Edward III, who later abdicates) and harmed Albert in various ways over three years time before the parents discovered what was happening. The nanny did things such as pinching Albert to make him cry when he was presented with his brother to their parents, the King and Queen, so as to make Albert look bad in his parents' eyes. She also restricted Albert's diet to near-starvation level, something that likely affected both his physical and psychological development.
It was at this age that Albert developed the stammer. The movie also depicts what it is like to grow up as a Royal, the coldness of family interactions, the overwhelming weight of duty and appearances. It is clear that, once traumatized, Albert was not able to heal from his trauma within his family context. In a way, it seems fortunate that Albert had a wound which was so visible. The whole nation was well aware of his stammer, especially from the time he addressed the nation in 1925 via a radio broadcast, when his stammer was painfully apparent to all.
The stammer was so detrimental to Albert's ability to be an effective monarch that he was driven to address it. His motivation was so high that he was willing to do just about anything to overcome his impediment. Ignoring the problem was not an option.
I can relate to this story in several ways. First, I also came to a place in my life where my own "stammer" was profoundly affecting my ability to lead a successful life. My own issues did not manifest as a physical impediment like a stammer; they were more subtle but very real nevertheless. My issues became an impediment to my life as much as Albert's stammer was an impediment to his.
A key to Albert's healing and to mine is acknowledging the trauma. Once we have clearly named what happened we are on the road to recovery. Our issues are no longer impressing their signature on us within the context of our own unconsciousness. We are awakening to their affect and our higher self can begin to get psychological leverage against them. Working with a skilled therapist can be very helpful, though it is not required.
In Albert's case, speech therapy was much more than just learning how to form words better. Logue established a relationship with Albert early on that allowed the prince to trust and relax. My wife rightly pointed out that Logue reparented Albert through the course of their therapy sessions and continuing friendship. Albert was able to open himself to a model of human relationship that he had never experienced with his family of origin. Albert did have a warm and loving relationship with his wife, which is probably a key to his being able to develop a warm friendship with Logue, and through it, heal himself.
Just as Albert's wife did for Albert, my wife is someone who advocates for my healing and who has shown me a model of human interaction that I did not get as a child. Like Albert, I am trying to have a happy childhood as a middle aged man. That is to say, I now have the opportunity to experience the following factors in human relationships: healthy boundaries, mutual nurturing, stability, clear and compassionate communication, that I did not have as a child.
The movie suggests that Albert's speech was something he had to work at his whole life. It's not like he was suddenly "cured" and became a gifted orator. Rather, it seems he was in recovery, a long-term process that has to do with one's healing, growth and being in touch with our higher self.
Overcoming trauma takes time. Charles Whitfield, in several of his books, states that working through trauma is a multi-year process. For me, the simple fact that I am actively addressing the trauma is changing the way I live my life. Rather than feeling like there is some kind of force pressing in on me, I now experience being the proactive force in my life.
I feel very hopeful because I can now see that my path leads toward an unfolding rather than a closing in. The "closing in" signature is what I mentally inherited from my parents. I am beginning to see how I am gradually and increasingly growing into the person who can perceive the inherited pattern and can then choose a different path out my higher self. I have the support. I have the tools. I have the understanding.
This is not to say that it's easy. It's not. I am putting a lot of mental energy toward my healing and I'm guessing it will be that way for a while. But, like King George VI, what's inside of me has enormous motivation to shine through, and overcome, my own version of the "stammer".
Your comments are welcome.
Warmly, Ben
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