This past week I told two old friends of mine about my blog. It made me think that the by-line to the blog should be "OMG TMI!" I really do have some serious over-sharing going on in this blog; but I will continue on because it feels way better to bring all of these "secrets" out into the open than to try to keep them under wraps, where I get to carry them up on my back.
Talking to these two friends made me think about how much they have meant to me; that their friendship at important moments was key to my finding my way in life. My early 20s were a tenuous time for me. I had done well in college but did not have the faintest clue as to what I could do with my life. I knew I had talent but could not find my direction. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I felt not infrequently like I was becoming a failure. I didn't see the point in my life.
These two friends believed in me. They saw my higher nature and offered me encouragement and sweet friendship. When I hear the song by Peter Gabriel, "Don't Give Up", I think of both of them and what their faith in me then means to me now. It brings tears to my eyes. I can really relate to the man in the song as he looks at the river flowing, feels the warmth and support coming from his friends and realizes he can move through the hardships he is enduring.
The lines coming from his friends, so beautifully sung by Kate Bush, are for me quite poignant. They are telling him how important he is to them at a time when he likely finds it hard to see his own worth as a human being.
The last line of the song has been deeply inspirational to me. It told me that though I was very confused and felt directionless, that there was "a place where we belong". The idea that there was such a place helped me to keep my head up and move forward even when I didn't see the purpose to it. To a large degree I was motivated by the simple hope that life would get better and show its meaning to me over time. My motivation in life at that time was the hope that there was, somewhere, a place where I could experience my purpose, where I could belong.
That hope was well-founded. The meaning of my life has continued to show itself to me over the past fifteen years. My life today is not easy but I do see the point to it and am very happy to be alive. The years between high school and my mid-twenties, however, were often much more tenuous.
To these two dear friends--thank you.
"Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel
in this proud land we grew up strong
we were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail
no fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
but no one wants you when you lose
don't give up
'cos you have friends
don't give up
you're not beaten yet
don't give up
I know you can make it good
though I saw it all around
never thought I could be affected
thought that we'd be the last to go
it is so strange the way things turn
drove the night toward my home
the place that I was born, on the lakeside
as daylight broke, I saw the earth
the trees had burned down to the ground
don't give up
you still have us
don't give up
we don't need much of anything
don't give up
'cause somewhere there's a place
where we belong
rest your head
you worry too much
it's going to be alright
when times get rough
you can fall back on us
don't give up
please don't give up
'got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
going to stand on that bridge
keep my eyes down below
whatever may come
and whatever may go
that river's flowing
that river's flowing
moved on to another town
tried hard to settle down
for every job, so many men
so many men no-one needs
don't give up
'cause you have friends
don't give up
you're not the only one
don't give up
no reason to be ashamed
don't give up
you still have us
don't give up now
we're proud of who you are
don't give up
you know it's never been easy
don't give up
'cause I believe there's a place
there's a place where we belong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiCRZLr9oRw
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